Networking While Socially Anxious: A Horror-Comedy
(Part 5: Why Growth Lives In The Awkward)
Yesterday I had the privilege of facilitating my Expressive Writing For Healing workshop at the Community & Mental Health Convention 2025.
First things first - a huge thank you to everyone who showed up, shared pieces of your story and faced the blank page even when it felt intimidating. Your courage reminds me why I keep doing this work.
It’s Mental Health Awareness Month in South Africa and we’re officially in Week 5 of my series: “100 Reasons I’m Not Okay (and neither are you).”
This week’s theme? Sad, but Make It Fashion - reasons 41-50.
After more than a decade of running workshops, teaching, editing, coaching and even though this was the second time facilitating at the CMCC, events like these still feel like the first day of school - racing heart, over-rehearsed hellos, the awkward hover near the coffee table, wondering whether to join a conversation or just keep staring at your phone.
Networking as an introverted writer - where do you even start?
Do you just…walk up to a stranger, smile and introduce yourself while trying not to spill your tea?
For many of us, putting our writing out into the world can feel exactly like that: awkward, vulnerable, a little sweaty.
It reminded me of what it’s like to share writing for the first time: deeply uncomfortable, like you’re showing everyone your emotional underwear. But it’s also a powerful reminder of something I often tell my students:
Growth lies in the awkward.
Growth is the embarrassing hello, the shaky first draft, the choice to enter a room that scares you a little.
They say that as we get older, life sometimes feels stagnant because we have fewer new experiences. But the truth is, we often choose comfort over curiosity. Every time we risk feeling like beginners again, whether at a convention or on the page, we keep ourselves alive to possibility.
The Blue Post-it Note of Truth
One of my favourite ice-breakers for short sessions is deceptively simple: a blue Post-it note.
I asked everyone to finish the sentence:
“If you really knew me, you would know…”
We didn’t have hours together - just 45 minutes - but even in that tiny window, these little notes revealed things often left unsaid.
“I’ve been learning aerial hoop and pole for the last 6 months.”
“I’d love to have a relationship with both my parents.”
“I love to walk alone on the mountain and talk to God.”
We stuck the notes on the backs of random chairs to remain anonymous and these quiet, blue squares of honesty allowed the room to soften and to witness the silent struggles and triumphs that we all go through daily.
It’s amazing what we learn about each other when we’re given permission to write it down.
Your turn: What would you have written on that Post-it note?
(You can reply to this email or simply jot it down in your journal.)
Week 5: Sad but Make It Fashion – Reasons 41-50
41. Trying to meditate, but your brain narrates your failures instead.
42. The panic of thinking the cashier is silently judging your basket of comfort food snacks.
43. The anxiety of hearing your own name in a crowd and realizing that you aren’t invisible.
44. People saying “You don’t look depressed” like it’s a fashion choice.
45. Buying clothes for the life you wish you had, then wearing the same two hoodies anyway.
46. The mental gymnastics of deciding if changing out of pyjamas at 3 p.m. counts as “self-care” or “fashion statement”.
47. Collecting water bottles like they’re fashion accessories but still forgetting to hydrate.
48. The mysterious disappearance of one favourite sock - as if depression itself eats them.
49. Planning an elaborate outfit to leave the house but cancelling last-minute… because anxiety.
50. Calling messy buns and dry shampoo your “signature look”.
Journal Prompts for You
1. Recall a recent moment you felt like a beginner again or stepped outside of your comfort zone. What did you learn about yourself?
2. How do your clothes reflect (or hide) your mood?
3. Where in your life could you welcome a little more awkwardness in the name of growth?
4. How do you want to show up differently the next time you enter a room that intimidates you?
If something in this week’s newsletter resonated with you, please email me or drop a comment below.
I’d love to hear what’s been on your mind and I reply every time.
See you next Sunday for reasons 51-60.
With gratitude,
Amy
I'd have to say, clothes are a definite reflection of my mood. Black is for when I'm feeling fat. But a black dress is a combo of "I feel fat" and I also want to look nice, because black.
Bigger clothes for when I'm bloated, tired and PMSing. Smaller clothes, body-fitting for when I feel confident. Colour for when I'm trying to lift up my mood. Dull colours for when I'm trying to appear earthen or softer, because colours do catch attention, whether we like it or not. I have comfort favourites much like comfort snacks and hope in the same way that my cousins and friends don't judge me for choosing comfort over trying my best, be that in food or clothing.
This one was very good. I loved the ideas that you used at the workshop.